Support as a Coping Strategy

You may be fortunate enough to have family members and close personal friends to help you during treatment and recovery. Keep in mind that your cancer is affecting them as well-physically through fatigue from caregiving responsibilities, and emotionally with their understandable anxiety about your illness. Whatever emotions you are experiencing, chances are they are feeling many of the same concerns.

Cancer causes great upheavals in the way family members interact, with traditional roles sometimes turned upside down and inside out. Parents might look to their children for emotional support at a time when the children themselves need it most. Teenagers might have to assume major household responsibilities. Young children can revert to infantile behavior as a way of dealing with their frustrations.

Patience, understanding, and examining what's truly important can often help families get through these times-and be much stronger and closer as a result. Relax housekeeping standards, or have everyone pitch in to prepare meals. (It can be a lot of fun!) Children can, and often do, take on more household chores than they have handled before.

You may also have an ongoing need for support from your healthcare team. This includes having a two-way dialogue with your doctor about any concerns that you have. Take full advantage of your doctor's time during office visits. Some suggestions include:

• When going to meet your doctor or nurse, bring someone with you. It helps to have another person listen to what is being said and to think of questions to ask during consultation.
• Write out your questions beforehand; don't forget to discuss any issue.
• Write down or record the answers you get, and make sure you understand what you are hearing.
• Ask your questions. If you feel you are not receiving adequate answers to your concerns, don't hesitate to ask where you can find more information.

Support Groups

Is a support group for you? Cancer support groups are designed to provide a confidential atmosphere where you can frankly discuss the challenges that you are facing with others in a similar situation. Participants gather to exchange information, discuss practical problems (such as managing side effects), or simply to lend emotional support.

Your healthcare staff should provide you with specific sources about local support groups. Most hospitals have social service departments that can provide similar information.

Some support groups meet informally with just survivors; others are directed by healthcare professionals. Take the time to find a support group that makes you feel comfortable and fits with your specific needs. If you don't feel you need a support group, that's perfectly all right too.

Many survivors, however, are surprised at how important their support group meetings become. There's nothing quite like sharing a concern or experience with someone you see regularly who knows-on the most personal of levels-exactly what you're going through.

SOURCE:
I Flunked My Mammogram!, B2Z Publishing, Severna Park, MD

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