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Family Support
Questions about breast cancer & family support.
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AskedPublicly Submitted Question
10/15/2011Dear Lillie, thankyou for your caring and supportive site. i feel very confused regarding my relationship with my partner. i met him one year after the loss of his previous partner to breast cancer. eight weeks into our friendship i was diagnosed with stage 1 grade 1 breast cancer, left mastectomy now Aremidex. i supported him in the first few weeks as i felt he was still suffering with the loss. he made it very clear he was not able to attend appointments with me , which i accepted. i feel due to his past relationships, first marriage 20yrs ago and his partner that died, i feel these issues are stopping me moving forward with my health issues. my partner is now seeking therapy regarding mood swings, i just want some positivity for me in all this. my partner is 13years older than me, we are currently seeing less of each other as i felt i needed some time for me. what are your thoughts on this. my son has been very supportive throughout my illness . best wishes
RepliedJHU's Breast Center Reply
10/15/2011I'm relieved to hear that you are getting support from someone who loves you-- your son. your partner may not be able to cope with all of this, having traveled a slippery slope before that resulted in losing his partner. and the time frame is still "fresh", making it harder. so you might not be able to expect much from him. Good that he is seeing a therapist. see if he would consider couples counseling. if not, then you need to press forward for your own sake in building a support team (note i said TEAM) beyond (however including) your son so that you can endure for yourself what lies ahead. this is not the time for you to try to take care of your partner's personal history of loss and fears.

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